Who knows what went through the mind of the woman who walked into Ridgefield’s animal shelter that day with a puppy?
Already owning six dogs and going through a divorce, the woman told Allyson Dotson, director of Ridgefield Operation for Animal Rescue, or “R.O.A.R.,” she couldn’t care for the puppy any longer, primarily citing economics.
Dotson said R.O.A.R. has a screening protocol it goes through when an animal is dropped off at the facility. Preferably, the animal should be one that is easily adoptable.
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“We were pretty sure we could adopt the puppy out, so we took it,” Dotson recalled, her antennae down at the time.
However, when the woman’s soon-to-be-ex wanted to adopt the puppy back, it raised a serious red flag.
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“I knew something was up,” Dotson said. “It became too sticky for us when the husband called us and wanted the dog. They weren’t upfront with us.”
Did the woman use the puppy to get at her husband? Was she trying to hurt him with something he loved? If she was sincere and really couldn’t care for the puppy, why didn’t she at least ask her husband to take it?
Though for most outsiders thinking of divorce, custody battles center on children and asset division focuses on houses and other major items, lawyers and divorcees say the family dog often is at stake.
In this R.O.A.R. case, the woman eventually returned for the puppy and the couple is still splitting, presumably with a little more anger than before.
“The philosophy of let’s put the other guy through hell exists in some divorces. It can be children, dogs or your mother’s silverware,” said Christine O’Sullivan, a divorce attorney with offices in Westport and Norwalk. “I don’t know who said, ‘love is one step away from hate,’ but, when love goes sour it goes very sour. The hardest divorce of all is when you want to punish the other person.”
To many people, dogs are more than simply pets, and are definitely more than what the state of Connecticut decrees them to be, which are assets to split up like artwork, books or a CD collection.
“To some people, their dogs are their children,” said Eva DeFranco, a Danbury divorce lawyer. “You just can’t give them up.”
Typically the dog knows whom it would rather live with, but the animal can’t speak for itself and hopefully the parties will do the right thing, said Stamford divorce attorney David Scalzi.
“Usually, it is one party who is the primary caretaker of the pet,” Scalzi said. “Usually, one likes (the dog) more and the dog likes one more. Usually, they aren’t equal caretakers for the dog.”
Connecticut Statute 46b-82 can be used by a judge if an agreement can’t be worked out as it considers such factors as the length of the marriage, the causes for the dissolution of the marriage, and even the needs of each of the parties.
Who can best care for the dog? Who is more emotionally attached? All are weighed.
For example, if one party does considerable traveling for work, the judge might rule for the other person. Or, if one brought the pet into the marriage the judge could favor that person.
O’Sullivan recalled a case where the wife ran off with the kids and the dogs, and the husband said, “at least leave one of the dogs.’’
Emotions get rubbed raw during a divorce, and sometimes the best interest of the pet isn’t always considered.
“Some of it has to do with how much grief one is willing to put the other party through,” O’Sullivan said. “It is a heartbreaking thing when you’re deprived of something you love.
“A dog is a friend. A dog is a member of the family. These cases don’t come up often, but when they do it is very emotional. Your feelings about your animals are as strong as they are a member of your family.”
And, the breaking up of a family is never easy.
