Same-Sex Couple Faces Pregnancy Battle With Health Insurers

After Gov. M. Jodi Rell signed Senate Bill 899 into law in early 2009, same-sex marriage in Connecticut was a done deal with strong support in the legislature.

The law, which codifiies the state Supreme Court ruling of Kerrigan v. Commissioner of Public Health, redefines marriage as the legal union between two people. It will transform civil marriages between same-sex couples into marriages this coming October, guaranteeing the same rights for same-sex couples that a male and female partnership would have.

One local couple took advantage and tied the knot immediately following the decision. They had first married 10 years earlier, although their union was not recognized by either state or federal law.

"We got married on May 14, 1999—it was a civil ceremony, or a full price wedding without any of the rights that go along with marriage," says Oklahoma City native Paige who re-married Westporter Lynn (the couple asked use pseudonyms to protect their employment) in an elaborate open-air ceremony—white gown and all. "We took our vows again on our tenth anniversary in order to have all the same rights as other married couples."

But is the law really delivering all of its picket fence promises? According to area attorney Zinka Benton there are more than 1,100 rights and responsibilities that go along with marriage that are not honored because the state law does not mesh with national legislation on the issue.

For example, same-sex married couples must file separate income taxes and are also required to pay taxes on his or her spouse's health benefits.

"The bottom line is that you end up paying extra for the privilege of being gay without all of the benefits enjoyed by straight couples," says Benton.

The Westport couple—who had discussed early in their relationship that they both wanted to have kids—discovered another aspect of that unpleasant truth when Paige decided to become pregnant using artificial insemination.

Although Connecticut law mandates that insurance companies provide minimum coverage to patients who are diagnosed as infertile under the age of 40, Lynn's company (a big corporation) decided they would not fund the procedure.

"Health insurance is apparently federally regulated, so that allows companies to recognize DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) when it comes to insurance coverage," Lynn explains.

So they were back in legal limbo.

"My wife's current corporation will not provide health insurance to same-sex spouses, despite the fact that same-sex marriage is recognized in Connecticut, so clearly, it was up to me to procure employment that provided good health insurance," Paige explains.

She returned to college to complete her undergraduate studies.

"After graduating from one of the top colleges in the country, I landed a job in a non-profit," Paige says.

Luckily, her new employer chose the state insurance law over the federal DOMA loophole.

"I was finally covered by insurance so, I began appointments with Yale Reproductive Endocrinology," Paige says, adding that since she was not having sexual intercourse with a man she had to shell out big bucks to become pregnant through artificial means.

With Paige's biological clock ticking louder with each passing day, the couple spent around $20,000 for six months prior to her 35th birthday trying to get pregnant.

"All failed," reports Paige. "On the morning of my 35th birthday I was able to enroll for benefits because now the law required coverage as a result of six failed attempts at the age of 35. My $2,200 deductible was met within that week, as meds cost $1,000 alone. This cycle, Aetna provided a myriad of excuses to not send the meds. I finally received them a week late. And in this game, timing is critical."

But, there was yet another obstacle for the couple to overcome.

"Realizing I had six failed cycles and could enroll, I had to prove it to the insurance company by sending receipts of shipped donor sperm," says Paige. "I asked how heterosexual couples prove this and they said they have 'to take their word for it.' The state needs to revise the mandate because it excludes patients not having sex with men." 

Furthermore, "infertile" is defined as unprotected intercourse for 12 months without conception.

"Clearly, intercourse applies only to heterosexual couples," says Lynn.

And no matter what a person's sexual orientation, she has only until her 40th birthday to become successfully pregnant to be covered by her Conn. insurance policy.

"It's upsetting that the system is designed specifically to assist heterosexual couples," Paige says. "Insurance companies want to observe circumstances that allow the least amount of coverage, therefore they are content with corporations that recognize the DOMA exclusion."

Interestingly, certain employees—such as those who work for the state and city, are covered for all costs of becoming pregnant—except for sperm.

"So, employees of the state receive better coverage than the citizens of the state," says Paige.

The cost of the process for Paige and Lynn before the insurance kicked in far exceeded the $20,000 they paid out initially. 

"It also costs us lots of sleep, and the grief of multiple failed attempts to conceive," says Paige. "And if another person tells me 'to not stress out,' I'm going to punch them out. They have no clue."