Disney's Subversive Campaign Against Adults

Disney doesn't include a parental advisory at the beginning of their programs, but they should. Children who watch Disney's shows are subtly absorbing a disturbing message about adults: They’re unnecessary, clueless, or simply stoopid.

Scholars and bloggers have devoted significant attention to this urgent epidemic as it pertains to the representation of mothers in Disney’s animated films. Bambi’s mother is killed by hunters. Nemo’s mother is consumed by a larger fish. Cinderella is orphaned. The list goes on.

But what about the weekly assault on any and all adult authority figures perpetrated on the Disney channel’s live action programming? A quick roundup of the offerings are troubling at best.

Good Luck, Charlie

The premise behind this show: 16-year old Teddy creates a video diary for her baby sister, Charlie. Each episode documents the madcap adventures of Teddy, her two brothers (11-year old Gabe and 17-year old PJ) and their parents (Bob and Amy) as they negotiate life with a growing baby. The show’s plots regularly revolve around mother Amy’s personal 'quirks.'

She harbors unrealistic beliefs about her artistic abilities and seeks fame at every opportunity. In one episode, she hires a fake family to perform with her in a work-sponsored talent show because her own family ‘lacks rhythm.’ In another, Amy recruits Teddy to impersonate a pair of dancing sisters so they can perform on television. In yet another, she wakes Charlie from her nap to paint a picture that Amy intends to pass off as her own.

To be fair, the parents aren’t clueless. When Teddy and PJ attempt to throw a party under their noses, the parents quickly catch on. But they proceed to humiliate their children by dancing in front of their friends. What’s the message here? That adults can’t dance?

Shake It Up

Speaking of dancing, on this show, two 13-year old girls, Rocky and CeCe, land jobs as dancers on a popular television show, Shake It Up, Chicago, whose male host is a narcissistic dimwit. The other recurring adult is CeCe’s mother, who embarrasses CeCe by dancing in front of her friends. Why does the image of adults dancing persistently function as a punch line?

Wizards of Waverly Place 

Selena Gomez stars in this show about three teen-aged siblings with magical powers set in a sandwich shop on Waverly Place in Manhattan. The father is a cheapskate with what appears to be a compulsive eating disorder, and the mother is obsessed with looking young enough to be her daughter’s sister. A frequent plot point is that the parents are so self-absorbed that they routinely attempt to weasel out of attending and helping out at their children’s school functions. 

Suite Life on Deck

There are no parents in this show starring real-life teen twins Cole and Dylan Sprouse as teen twins Zack and Cody. The setting is a floating boarding school, Seven Seas High, whose two recurring authority figures are self-absorbed, socially maladapted dorks hopeless in love. Though she barely looks 30, teacher Miss Tutweiler is depicted as an aging spinster (with something like 50 cats) who often ignores her students to pursue love. The clever teens frequently best chaperone Mr. Moseby with their stratagems, including holding a prom under his nose.

The epidemic seems to be spreading to rival networks. Nickolodeon’s popular iCarly stars Miranda Cosgrove as parentless Seattle teen Carly, who runs her own web show with friends Sam and Freddie. She lives with her wacky older brother, who dropped out of law school to become an artist and who she frequently parents. Sam’s mother is a neglectful disaster, and Freddie’s mother is obsessively controlling. She follows him into his high school to put sunscreen on him and interrupts the web show to force him to eat his asparagus.

And yet adults are shockingly quiet on the subject of this pervasive campaign against them, their alleged tragic narcissism, and their dancing abilities perpetrated daily on the Disney Channel.

What do you think  of Disney's disastrous adults?