Breaking News: Danbury Man Vows to Get to Bed Early

A "trusted news source" breaks an exclusive report on a local man's efforts to become a folk legend.

The Onion — "America's Finest News Source" — reported Thursday that a Danbury man was planning to attempt something long thought impossible: getting to bed at a reasonable hour.

The provocative piece delves into the modern struggle to balance the necessity of the work-rest cycle with the ever more prevalent forms of entertainment that continue to eat away time in our daily lives.

Read more about this Danbury man's heroic, if futile struggle on TheOnion.com.

[Warning: original source includes profane language and departures from reality.]


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