'Tiger Mother' Author Amy Chua Speaks to Local Moms

Author Amy Chua was vilified for her strong-armed approach to parenting detailed in the memoir “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.” Some parents were aghast at her strict rules that forbade sleepovers, appearing in school plays and getting a grade less than an A.

In China, the book has taken on a different course. The translated title is “Parenting By a Yale Law Professor: Raising Kids in America” and the book is being marketed, according to Chua, “as the importance of giving your children more freedom and choice.”

As the firestorm of controversy dies down, Chua appeared at the Westport Country Playhouse at a benefit for Read to Grow, a Branford-based charity aimed at providing books to children in their most formative years.

When the book first came out, Chua said about 70 percent of the emails she got were negative. Now, 90 percent are positive. They might not agree with her, she said, but they’re willing to engage in a civil discussion.

However, she said the book was intended to be therapeutic rather than a parenting guide.

“The book is supposed to be funny…it’s supposed to be zany and a caricature, but it’s also true,” she told the predominantly female crowd. “The first problem is that a lot of people are talking about the book without having read it.”

The conversation touched on the strict parenting sometimes done by immigrants, the initial media backlash surround Chua’s book and the intense workload suffered by young students. Even Chua, a self-described “strict mother” is concerned about all countless activities kids participate in to boost college applications.

“When I look at the workload and the things they’re working on, it does seem sort of crazy and does seem very stressful,” she said.

Roxanne Coady, the moderator of the event and founder of Read to Grow, told Chua that the controversy from the book has been a good thing, since it’s allowed a serious discussion on parenting to take place.

“It’s not about the right answer. It’s about the debate,” she said. “Thank you for putting yourself up there as that straw woman that gets beaten up for all of to have the conversation because I think it’s a conversation that needs to be had.

Chua also shared the fact that the book was almost delayed for years when a family friend suggested holding off publication until her youngest daughter graduated high school.  The kids, however, liked the idea of the book. After a family meeting and discussions with numerous parents, it was decided to go ahead with publication.

The youngest daughter, Lulu, dished out some tough love of her own before the book was published.

“Mommy, nobody is going to buy this book,” Chua recalled her saying. “Nobody cares about you, mommy. “

More information about Read to Grow can be found here. The group is looking for volunteers and resources to help expand into Fairfield County and offer children's books at area hospitals.