Westport Couple Shares Story of Loss and Triumph

Doug Brill looks like a healthy, vital man in the prime of his life.  But there's more to his story than meets the eye.

 In 2002, Doug was a successful banker in his early 40s, married to his wife, Patti, and a father to four young children.  Suddenly, he said, he started feeling ill and he knew something wasn't quite right.   He was admitted to Stamford Hospital, but released when nothing unusual showed up on his tests. 

"Things just went from bad to worse,"  Doug said at a lecture Wednesday night at Westport Public Library — the first in a series of events for the seventh-annual WestportREADS program. This year's program is centered around  Yoko Ogawa's award-winning novel The Housekeeper and the Professor, a story on the relationship between a brilliant math professor with no short-term memory, his conscientious housekeeper and her 10-year-old son. Bound by an interest in mathematics and baseball, the three develop a loving relationship of caretaking, memory lapses and poignant concern.

Doug Brill and his family lived a similar experience to that of the characters in the book.

After being rushed to Columbia Hospital in New York City, Doug was diagnosed with a Neurosarcoidosis, which attacks the central nervous system.  The disease affected the hippocampus region of his brain, which plays an important role in developing long term memory and spatial navigation.   As this area was affected, Doug lost his ability to develop long term memories, and his short term memory only lasts four to eight hours.  He's also lost his ability to navigate from one place to another. 

"If you asked me how to get home from the library, I wouldn't be able to tell you.  I rely on my GPS system.  I've already burned through two," he said laughing. "Before GPS, my wife would have to write down directions.  It was very time consuming."  

Doug and his wife, Patti, shared several stories of their experiences in dealing with Doug's memory loss with a sense of humor which helps them to put things in perspective.   Their positive attitude is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of love.

"I try to look at things with a glass-is-half-full point of view," Doug said. "Patti and I are not looking for sympathy.   At first, I was very upset because I would not be able to remember my kid's childhood, but my father put that into perspective, he told me that, 'It doesn't matter if you remember, it matters if they remember you.'"

Fortunately, his long term memory before the illness has not been affected.  He remembers friends, family and events from the past and recalls them easily.   He's been working with Patti to develop strategies to stimulate his memory and says that repetition helps. 

"He has good days and bad days," Patti said. "But lately, there have been more good days." 

Doug credits Patti with saving his life, saying if not for her, he would not be here today.  

"She's been the rock in this family through all this," he said.

Although Doug cannot work full time any longer, he says he enjoyed volunteering at Norwalk Hospital and doing crossword puzzles. He's also an avid runner who typically will run more than 5 miles daily.   He coaches his children's sports teams and says he's grateful for the opportunity to spend more time with his children. 

"All this has made us look at life a lot differently," Patti said. "Things that we take for granted, we don't anymore.  We have learned not to make judgments."