Westport Women Learn the Art of Self-Protection

If you were alone in a parking garage and a creepy stranger was lurking in the shadows, would you know how to protect yourself?

You could confidently answer, "Yes!" if you were among the two dozen attendees at Michael Robin's mother/daughter self defense workshop at the Westport Public Library on Saturday.

Robin, a certified self-defense instructor, returned to the library for the third time in an effort to teach women the art of protecting themselves from predators.  

Valerie Pettit, who attended the workshop with her 13 year-old daughter, Jamie, said it was "important for young women to be able to defend themselves in an increasingly dangerous society."

"I want my daughter to feel safe and secure and to have confidence," she added. 

"Westport is a special place."  Robin said as he began the class. "It's perceived as being safe, but the feeling of being in a privileged environment can be fertile soil for predatory behavior.  Because they feel protected, the threat doesn't feel relevant."

Robin explained that many of the threats challenging women do not come from someone "jumping out from behind a tree," but rather come from people who are known to the victim.  More often than not, threats come from someone the woman knows; someone whom she has invited to be close to her.  This is why Robin refers to his classes as self-protection, rather than self-defense. 

"Women and girls don't have options to address specific self-protection strategies," he said. "Most martial arts are geared toward males.  For women, it's more about, 'How do I not get into the situation in the first place.'"

Robin's focus is on protecting yourself before anything happens – dissuading predators by making safe choices, projecting confidence and using body language.  By doing that, predators' first lines of defense are overcome, he added.

Robin says every woman — whether a middle school-age girl or a grown adult — is equipped with the tools they need to avoid being a victim: awareness, assertiveness, confidence and intuition. He advises that when in an unfamiliar location that feels potentially threatening, be aware of your surroundings and the people in them.  

"Confidence is your first line of defense," Robin said. "Carry yourself with confidence and you'll look like trouble and the predator will move on.   Keep your head up, with a neutral look on your face and walk purposefully."

He also recommends keeping the potential threat in your line of vision the entire time. 

"Physiologically, when we are frightened a lot of our small motor skills fall away.  We tend to get tunnel vision," he said. "Looking at the predator, but not glaring, lets the potential attacker know that you see them." 

Robin said to use as little language as possible, as predators use your words as tools. 

"Predators use an interview process to throw a target off her game," Robin said. "By denying conversation and being confident, you dissuade a predator."

If you are directly threatened, Robin said to use directive language such as, "No!"  "Back off!" or "Don't touch me."

The tendency in women, Robin said, is to apologize, or not want to "rock the boat."  He reminded the group, "You have no obligation, social or otherwise, not to change the situation if it feels uncomfortable." 

"Trust your body's own feedback," he continued. "Your instinct is almost always right.  When something sounds your alarm, pay attention."

Robin took the group through a number of role playing scenarios.  He went from playing a heckling catcaller, to a boorish Metro-North passenger, a slightly tipsy partygoer who did too much talking with his hands, to a college frat boy attempting to get too cozy with a teenage girl.   Robin worked with the participants for more than two hours to demonstrate how to diffuse these situations with confidence by using body language and their voice to clearly state, in no uncertain terms, what they did or did not want the predator to do.

There are times, when there is no other option and self-protection turns to self-defense.  Robin instructed the group on the "stomp, elbow, kick," method; stomping on the foot, an elbow to the face and a kick to the groin, all done while yelling a loud, forceful, "NO!"  

Robin also taught the class a powerful move from the Krav Maga school of self defense. Krav Maga is the official self defense system of the Israeli Defense Forces.  This move, informally called the "Impale" method, involves grasping your attacker by the arm and around the neck, while simultaneously pulling him down and inflicting a knee to the groin three times in quick succession.   Each participant had the opportunity to demonstrate this technique on Robin (who was wearing protective gear), as he encouraged them to "explode" and not to be apologetic.  The women did not hold back and a few almost toppled Robin.

He says his hope for the day is that it opens up a dialogue to discuss personal safety and violence towards women.

"My hope in the mother/daughter classes is to start a conversation that will lead to, ideally, further training and a better exchange of information; building trust, so that the spillover from the two hour class is greater than the two hours itself," he said.  

Robin is a Rowayton-based personal safety educator with more than 10 years of experience teaching for schools, corporations and community groups throughout the region. Although he has worked with everyone from first graders to adults, his extensive experience is with 7th and 8th grade, which he taught at the Spence School, Chapin School, Convent of the Sacred Heart of Greenwich and the Brearley School, among others.